Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom known as Andalasia,
there lived an evil queen.
Selfish and cruel,
she lived in fear that one day her stepson would marry,
and she would lose her throne forever.
And so, she did all in her power to prevent the prince from ever meeting
the one special maiden with whom he would share true love's kiss.
Giselle, Giselle, how about this for your statue?
- Oh, this will be perfect. Thank you. - You're welcome.
Come on! OK, you mookses, move it! We have got a face to put together here
while it's still ingrained in her subcranium.
Oh, Pip, it was such a lovely dream.
We were holding hands and dancing, and...
- Oh! - And these for the eyes.
Blue? Oh, how did you know?
And they sparkle just like his. Mm!
OK. There we go.
- Yes! That's it! - OK. Yeah, yeah.
- Floor's yours, honey. - Presenting my one true love.
My prince. My dream come true.
Oh, my goodness!
- Whoa, whoa. What? What's the problem? - I didn't give him any lips.
- Ooh! - Does he have to have lips?
Of course.
When you meet the someone who is meant for you
# Before two can become one There's something you must do
- Do you pull each other's tails? - Do you feed each other seeds?
No.
# There is something sweeter
# Everybody needs
# I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
# And a prince I'm hoping comes with this
# That's what brings
# Ever-afterings so happy
# And that's the reason we need lips so much
# For lips are the only things that touch
# So to spend
# A life of endless bliss
# Just find who you love
# Through true love's kiss #
If we're going to find a perfect pair of lips,
we're going to need a lot more help.
# She's been dreaming of a true love's kiss
# And a prince she's hoping comes with this
# That's what brings ever-afterings
- # So happy - # So happy
# That's the reason we need lips so much
# For lips are the only things that touch
Humph!
# So to spend a life
# Of endless bliss
# Just find who you love
# Through true love's kiss #
Look out below!
Amazing, sire.
Your tenth troll this month.
Oh, I love hunting trolls.
Big trolls, little trolls. Trolls, trolls, trolls...
- Sorry. - Oh, that's OK.
Ah, trolls are fine to pass the time, Nathaniel,
but... but my heart longs to be joined in song.
# I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
- # And a... - #... prince I'm hoping
- # Comes with this - Do you hear that, Nathaniel?
Me? No. No, I hear nothing.
Nothing.
- Oh! - I must find the maiden
- that belongs to that sweet voice. - Oh, no! Come back, sire.
- No, you're hallucinating! - Ride, Destiny!
Oh!
Oh, pooh. Oh, no. No. This isn't good.
All these years of troll chasing, trying to keep him from ever meeting a girl.
Oh, the queen. No, she's not going to like this.
# True love's kiss #
Oh, you shall not prevail, foul troll. That maiden is mine!
Honey, do you really think your dream boy exists?
Oh, Pip. I know he's out there somewhere.
Eye! Eye! Eye-Eye.
- I... I what? - I eat you now.
Everybody, scatter!
Gotcha. Huh?
Hey! That's cheating!
I supposed to eat you.
Oh, no you don't, you big lug.
Oh? Oh!
Ah!
Wow, I got to lay off the nuts.
Girl yummy.
Fear not, fair maiden. I am here.
- Whoa! - Gotcha!
Whoa!
Uh-oh. Whoo!
Oh! Pip!
Just hang on, honey. I'm going to...
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Oh, my gosh.
- It's you. - Yes, it's me.
- And you are? - Giselle.
Oh! Giselle! We shall be married in the morning.
# You're the fairest maid I've ever met
- # You were made... - # To finish your duet
# And in years to come we'll reminisce
# How we came to love
# And grew and grew love
# Since first we knew love
# Through true love's kiss #
Oh, so this is the little forest rat
who thinks she can steal my throne.
Never!
Oh! Excuse me. I am so sorry.
- Oh! Am I late? - No, miss.
- I do hope I'm not late. - Just in time.
- Oh, thank goodness. - Hey, honey, wait up!
- We ain't done with you yet. - No! Ah!
Oy!
- Oh! Thank you. - You're welcome, Giselle.
You're getting married!
Oh, and what do we look like, garbage?
- Close the door on me! - If you'll allow me...
To think that in a few moments that Edward and I...
- Yes, yes. - That he and me... That we...
Oh, my.
Oh, what a lovely bride.
That's very kind of you,
- but I really... - No, no!
- Granny has a wedding gift for you. - Thank you.
But I really should be going. You see, I'm going...
- 'Tis a wishing well, dear. - Oh!
But all my wishes are about to come true.
If I ever see that fat mook's face again, I'm gonna...
I really do have to go.
But a wish on your wedding day.
That's the most magical of all.
Just close your eyes, my darling, and make your wish.
That's right. That's right. Lean in close.
- Are you wishing for something? - Yes, I am.
And they both lived happily ever aft...
Help! Edward! Prince Edward, we need help!
Speciosus, formosus, praeclarus!
Where, my most adored queen, where did you send her?
To a place where there are no "happily ever afters."
Oh! Oh.
Oh!
What is this?
Oh!
- Get out of the street! - Oh!
- Whoa!
Lady! Are you crazy? Now you have to pay for all of this.
I'm sorry. Excuse me. I was wondering if one of you
kind people might direct me to the castle?
Oh!
Hey, watch it, will you?
- Grumpy! - Jeez, lady. Are you for real?
I think so. Oh, wait! Wait!
Where are you going? Please, if you could just point me to the castle?
I'm supposed to be at the ball to wed my true love,
Prince Ed... Oh! Edward!
Edward?
Oh! Edward!
Edward?
Oh, no.
Oh! Hello, old man! Oh!
Hello.
May I sit with you?
Oh!
I'm very tired, and I'm scared.
I've never been this far away from home before,
and I'm not sure at all where I am.
If somebody could show me just a bit of kindness,
a friendly "hello" or even a smile,
I'm sure that would lift my spirits so much.
Oh. You have a lovely smile.
Oh! Where are you going?
That's mine! Bring that back here!
You! Come back here! I need that!
Oh! Please?
You...
...are not a very nice old man!
No way you're getting him, Ethan.
- You want him because I want him. - I'm not letting you have him!
- Forget it. Hank is coming with me. - Wait a minute, guys.
- I'm getting confused. Who is Hank? - Hank Aaron.
Milwaukee Braves? His 1954 rookie card.
A baseball card?
That's what this gets down to is a baseball card?
You never loved Hank like me.
- You never loved me like Hank! - How did I make you so angry?
- Robert? - Yes?
- It's time. - Ask what you didn't do.
- It's a longer list! - What would you do if you...?
I have to pick up my daughter. Can we do this around 9:00?
- 9:00 sounds good. - Great. I'll see you then.
Phoebe, I'll see you in the morning, OK?
You're just afraid I don't need you!
- I need a vacation! - Thank you.
After a whole day of that, you still want to get engaged?
Those people got married on a crazy romantic whim.
It's not like that with Nancy and I.
Right. None of that crazy romantic stuff for you, huh?
Oh, come on.
I mean, we're rational.
We understand each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Sounds like building a bridge. Have you told your daughter?
No, I haven't. Not yet.
I'm going to tonight. I got a present to ease her into it.
With news like this, I hope you got her a Shetland pony.
No. Something much better than that.
- A book? - Oh, come on. Don't give me that look.
I know it's not that fairy tale book you wanted, but this is better.
Look at this. See? Rosa Parks.
Madame Curie.
She was a remarkable woman who dedicated her life to research...
...until she died from...
...radiation poisoning. - She... died?
I wonder who that is.
Yeah, hi.
Tomorrow morning would be great. 7:30?
- With her now? - Yes, let me call you later.
All right. Bye-bye.
It was Nancy.
- Mm-hmm? - Mm-hmm.
She's a lot like the women in your book.
Sweetie...
...I'm going to ask her to marry me.
- What? - Yeah, you like her, don't you?
We all get along.
- Where's she going to live? - She's going to live with us.
Do I have to give up my bedroom?
No, you don't have to give up your bedroom. No.
Come on, it's going to be great. I promise.
It's not like she's gonna try and be your mother.
- Stepmother. - She's gonna be a nice stepmother.
She's gonna take you to school tomorrow, just you and her,
for some grown-up girl-bonding time.
I'm only six.
You won't always be.
Hello!
It's me, Giselle, from Andalasia.
Hello!
Is there anybody home?
Hello, please open the door.
It's very cold out here.
Daddy, why is there a princess on the castle billboard?
It's an advertisement. It's a mannequin.
- She's really there! - No, she's not. What are you doing?
Get back in here! Stop!
- Morgan! Stop! - Hey!
- Princess! - Morgan!
- Don't you ever do that again! - Look! Look!
Is anybody there? Do you know Edward?
- Stay here. - Oh, please be home!
- Hey, lady! - Oh, hello.
I was wondering if maybe you... Whoa!
Hang on!
- Oh! - Don't let go! Wait!
- Just hang on! - Oh, no!
Catch her, Daddy!
- Oh! - Ow!
- You OK? - I'm fine.
- Are you OK? - I'm fine.
- What were you doing up there? - I was looking for some help.
You see, I've been wandering very far and long tonight,
and I'm afraid nobody's been nice to me.
Yeah, well, welcome to New York.
Thank you.
Right. OK, you sure you're all right?
- Oh, yes. - You need me to call somebody for you?
Well, I don't think they'd hear you from here.
What?
Morgan, show her the way, please.
And then the old hag told me to...
Oh! ...look into the well and wish for my heart's desire.
But I must have looked very far
because I fell, down, down, down.
And then I climbed out of this big, round hole
and I got very lost, until I fell off of the castle.
- And now here I am with you! - Is this a big habit of yours?
Falling off stuff?
Well, usually someone catches me.
But, not to worry, I'm certain that Edward is already searching for me.
No doubt by morning he'll come and rescue me from this strange land.
Take me home, and the two of us can share in true love's kiss.
True love's kiss?
It's the most powerful thing in the world.
Right.
Now if I could only find a place to rest my head for the night.
- What kind of place? - Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
A hollow tree?
Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.
All I can do is let you in for a minute. Dry off, use the phone if you want to.
We have our own bedtime to stick to. Let's go.
That's very kind of you.
- What is it with this dress of yours? - Oh. Do you like it?
- No, it's just... - I gathered the silk
from my silkworms and I spun it into thread on my spinning wheel.
- You made it all by yourself? - Well, the mice and rabbits
did help with the sewing.
- They're good! - Oh!
Whoa!
Why don't we see about getting you a car.
- Couldn't she sleep here, Daddy? - No. That's a big no.
- Are you really a princess? - Not yet.
But...
...I will be soon.
Wow, Dad. She's really sleepy.
Oh, no. That's not acceptable. No.
You're not really gonna make her go, are you, Daddy?
I want you to go to bed.
But I think she might be a real princess.
Morgan, just because she has on a funny dress, doesn't mean she's a princess.
She is a seriously confused woman who's fallen into our laps.
- So we're not going to let her stay? - No.
Put on your nightgown and go to sleep.
Good night, OK?
Hi. I need a car at 116th and Riverside, please.
- Hold, please. - Thank you.
Hello, sir. Destination, please.
Sir?
- Morgan. - What?
I want you to sleep in my room tonight.
- Why? - Just come on.
All right.
Fear not, Giselle! I will rescue you!
Yeah, but who's gonna rescue me?
- All right, let's close it up. - Whoa!
- Hey, buddy! You ain't... - Silence!
Guys, I got it.
- Your name, peasant! Quickly! - Arty.
Are you in league with the wicked old hag who sent
my poor Giselle to this foul place, Arty?
Is this man party to this evil plot, chipmunk?
- Uh-oh. - Aw, poor chipmunk.
Speechless in my presence.
What say you, sir? Don't try my patience.
- What are you talking about? - I seek a beautiful girl.
My other half, my one coquette,
the answer to my love's duet.
I'd like to find one of them too.
Then keep a wary eye out, Arty.
- Come along, Pip. - Are you OK?
Hey!
Hey! Get off the car, you nut!
Did you see that chipmunk?
Oh, my.
This just won't do.
Whoa!
Oh, my goodness. Are you all right?
Oh.
Hello.
Oh...
Well, it's always nice to make new friends.
All right, everyone, let's tidy things up.
# Come, my little friends as we all sing a happy little working song
# Merry little voices Clear and strong
# Come and roll your sleeves up so to speak
# And pitch in cleaning crud up in the kitchen
# As we sing along
# Trill a cheery tune in the tub as you scrub a stubborn mildew stain
# Pluck a hairball from the shower drain
# To that gay refrain of a happy working song
# We'll keep singing without fail
# Otherwise we'd spoil it
# Hosing down the garbage pail and scrubbing up the toilet
# How we all enjoy letting loose with a little "la da dum dum dum"
# While we're emptying the vacu-um
# It's such fun
- # To hum a happy working song - # Ooh
# A happy working song
# Oh, how strange a place to be
# Till Edward comes for me
# My heart is sighing
# Still, as long as I am here
# I guess a new experience
# Could be worth trying
# Hey, keep drying
# You can do a lot when you've got such
# A happy working tune to hum
# While you're sponging up the soapy scum
# We adore each filthy chore that we determine
# So, friends even though you're vermin
# We're a happy working throng
# Singing as we fetch the detergent box
# For the smelly shirts and the stinky socks
# Sing along
# If you cannot sing Then hum along
# As we're finishing our happy working song #
Ah.
Wasn't this fun?
- Wake up, wake up! - What?
- Wake up! - What is it?
- Come, you have to come see! - What is it?
I can't tell you. You have to come see!
What's wrong? Are you OK?
- Yes. What is it, Morgan? - Look!
Oh, my gosh. Get out! Out!
- What do I do with them? - Get them outside.
- Get rid of them. - Put them back?
Put them outside! Don't put them back.
Open the door!
Good! Watch out!
- Stay there. - But, Dad.
Shh. Stay there.
- Hello. - Come in!
- Yeah, can I... - Oh. Good morning, Robert.
Oh! That's too thoughtful of you.
Thank you! Oh, I hope you had nice dreams.
- I think I'm still in one. - This is a magical room.
Where does the water come from?
Uh, well, the water comes from the pipes.
- And where do the pipes get it? - Uh, I don't know. From...
...wherever the pipes get it. - Oh.
It is magical.
- Hey, girlfriend. - Hi, Nancy.
What do you say, you ready to kick it?
Kick what?
Why do you still have your PJ's on?
It's been pretty busy around here.
Wow. It's really neat in here.
- Did you guys get a maid? - No. Not exactly.
Don't worry. My friends will do that.
Oh!
- Nancy? - Oh, hello!
- Who is this? - This is nothing.
- I'm Giselle! - This is nobody.
I was on my way to the castle to get married...
- She's married? - No, she's not.
- Not yet! - What does that mean, "yet"?
- She was lost. I was trying to help. - With finding the shower?
The shower. The shower is wonderful, Nancy.
- I'm sure it is. - That's enough. Thank you.
- Calm down. Please, let's talk. - Talk about what, Robert?
How I never stay the night? Because we both agreed,
Morgan's here, and you have to maintain boundaries
and I thought, "I'm so lucky. He's sensitive!"
I didn't realize you were worried about crowd control.
- We'll talk. - Don't bet on it.
What about taking Morgan? Some grown-up girl-bonding time.
What, so you can have some grown-up girl-bonding time?
- I don't think so. - But... just...
Goodbye!
Oh, she is lovely.
Get dressed, please. For school.
Just... Please.
- Nancy! - Thirty-eight and Seventh.
Nancy, wait!
- Hello? - You got to go.
I don't know what your deal is, if you're waiting for Prince Charming...
- Prince Edward! - Whatever.
I'll get you to a bus, a train, a plane, wherever,
and then that's it! I can't get involved after that.
What is this?
- Where did you get that? - I made it.
Do you like it?
You're unhappy.
You made a dress out of my curtains?
Oh, you are unhappy. I am so sorry.
- I'm not unhappy, I'm angry. - Angry?
It's an unpleasant emotion. Ever heard of it?
- I have heard of it, but I... - You have created a completely
unnecessary problem with Nancy that I now have to resolve.
See, the fact is, I was just getting ready
to take a very serious step forward.
- A proposal, actually. - Oh!
Well, now she's got it in her mind that you and I...
- Kissed? - Yeah, something like that.
Oh, no.
- You should sing to her! - Sing to her?
And maybe that would reassure her of your affections!
You need to rush to her side and hold her in your arms
and then pour your heart out in a beautiful ballad.
And then she'll know for sure.
- Why are you staring at me? - I don't know.
It's like you escaped from a Hallmark card or something.
Is that a bad thing?
School! We're late! We've got to run!
Oh!
Oh, wouldn't she just love to come crawling back here and steal my crown!
Cast me aside like so much royal rubbish! What?
Perhaps Prince Edward won't find her.
- Perhaps he will! - Oh! Oh, dear.
Oh...
Oh! I do wish there was someone who cared enough for me
to go after him.
Oh, a man like that, strong and brave,
I'd do anything for him.
Never fear, my queen.
I will stop him!
- What now? - Another one?
Whoa! Get him out of there. Let's go. Get in there.
Where are these people coming from?
- Come on! - Upsy-daisy.
Get him up.
- Hey, pal. - Yow!
Let me guess. You're, uh, looking for a beautiful girl too.
No.
I'm looking for a prince, actually.
Right.
You've met your match, you foul bellowing beast!
- Everybody, stay on the bus. - Giselle? My love?
Drat!
The steel beast is dead, peasants. I set you all free.
- Move that bus! - Come on, already!
- Get that bus out of there! - Are you crazy?
Nobody stabs my bus! I'll tear you apart!
Do you hear me?
- You get down here! - If you'll allow me...
- Nathaniel, old friend! - Sire, may I suggest that you...
You? A friend of his? Crazy tight-wearing...
Come here and mess up my route? I'll tear you both apart!
Don't you roll your eyes at me!
A rat! Get it away from me!
Well, strictly speaking, he's a chipmunk.
Sire, may I suggest we seek elsewhere
for your bride?
- What are you looking at? - She's beautiful.
It's just a statue!
Come quickly. Quickly.
Sam? Sam, please don't tell me Mrs. Banks is already here.
- Mrs. Banks is here. - Great.
With Mr. Banks and his lawyer.
- Perfect, how long? - Do you want to know?
No, I don't. I need you to handle something for me, OK?
- See this girl? - Who is she?
No idea. I'm pretty sure she's from out of town.
- What do I do? - Find out where she's from,
and get her there. And make sure it's cheap.
If Nancy calls me, I need to talk to her.
Giselle? Don't drink that, OK?
I have a meeting. Sam is gonna get you home.
Sam? This is Giselle. Giselle, this is Sam.
- Yes? Hi. - Stay out of trouble.
Oh... Oh.
- It's nice to meet you. - It's nice to meet you too.
Your Majesty.
- Nathaniel! - Your Majesty?
Nathaniel, here!
Nathaniel!
Finally. Finally. I'm boiling in here.
- Have you found her yet? - I'm afraid I haven't, My Lady.
Time is of the essence.
We can't risk my stepson bringing the girl back.
He shan't, Your Majesty! I swear it!
No, he shan't. I intend to make absolutely certain of that.
But, Your Majesty, how exactly did you...?
...ever end up tasting so... Mmm... delicious?
Poisoned apples, My Lady.
- You want me to...? - Don't you see, my darling?
If there's ever going to be a happily ever after for us...
- Hmm? - Happily...
...ever after? Oh, My Lady.
Mmm, yes. It won't be difficult.
It's just one bite. That's all it takes.
One small bite to drag her down
into a deep and troubled sleep.
And when the hands of the clock strike 12,
that precious little pretender to my throne
will be gone!
It shall be done, My Lady.
- I swear it. - Yes.
You'll find the girl at Columbus Circle...
Your Majesty?
Hello.
You little...
Whoa! Hey!
- Pip! - Sire! Sire, please. I beg of you.
Don't listen to that insane little vermin.
He's probably eaten some bad nuts.
We should put him down for his own good.
Nathaniel, please. Let him speak.
But, sire! No. He's delirious. He came to tell all sorts of...
Go ahead, Pip.
What is it you want to say?
You watch me. OK?
Nathaniel?
Uh-huh. Nathaniel...
- Nathaniel's glad to have me near. - No, no, no.
Hmm... Oh!
Oh, oh, oh! I know this.
- Uh... - Apple?
No, thank you.
It's good.
Oh, OK.
Ta-da!
You feel you'd die without me here.
Yes. Here we go. Good.
Well, I have to say, I really think that went well.
There's no reason not to be reasonable.
Great. We might be in the neighborhood of a settlement.
Excuse me. I'm gonna check on your cars for a second.
- Sorry. - What? What?
She has no driver's license. No passport.
Can't find this place she comes from.
- What place? - Andalusia.
- Andalasia. - Whatever.
I've called every travel agent.
I don't know if it's a country or a city.
- It can't be a state. - More like a state of mind.
She told me it's just beyond the Meadows of Joy
and the Valley of Contentment. What is that all about?
Oh, my goodness. Your hair is lovely.
- You're beautiful. - Well, thank you.
The man who holds your heart is a lucky fellow indeed.
- You try telling him that. - I'm certain he already knows.
- Excuse me? - Are you him?
You are very lucky. Just look at the way her eyes sparkle.
- It's no wonder you're in love. - I got it!
Excuse me. I'm sorry. Giselle? Please?
It's not like that, all right? They're not together anymore.
- I don't understand. - They're getting a divorce.
- Separating from each other. - Separating?
- Yeah. - For how long?
- Forever. - Forever and ever?
Shh. Yes.
- Oh, no. - What are you doing?
- Don't cry. - Are you crying?
- She's not. - I'm sorry. I can't help it.
- Is she actually crying? - It's just so sad.
What kind of an operation are you running here?
This is so unprofessional.
Good morning, Phoebe. How are you? It's good to...
If you guys are trying to manipulate us,
you can throw this whole deal out.
What is going on here? Who's she?
Uh, a friend. No, she's an acquaintance, actually.
You begged me to put you on the case, and this is what I get for it?
I walk in here and find everybody upset?
And some girl is crying like we're on Oprah.
I'll take care of it. Carl, it's gonna be fine.
- What is wrong with you? - Me?
Yes, you. This whole Kumbaya, Up With People routine.
- Those people are in real pain. - Of course they're in pain.
They're separated forever.
Married one day and the next they're not.
- What sort of awful place is this? - It's reality.
Well, I think I'd prefer to be in Andalasia.
- I think I'd prefer that too. - Get in, please.
I wonder if we might cover more ground separately, sire.
Uh, you by yourself, and me with it.
An inspired plan, Nathaniel.
Where do you suppose I should look?
Look, sire! Over there!
Ah! Giselle!
Run to her, sire! Hurry! Not a moment to lose!
- Giselle! - I try to do the right thing.
Oh, you've been very nice to me.
Severely punished for it. OK, look, Giselle?
- I can't help you anymore. OK? - What?
Here's some money. I want you to take it. Call your prince.
Have him pick you up, bring his horse.
Because I honestly, I just can't handle it.
- Robert? - Just go.
I'm so sorry.
You have been a very kind friend to me when I had none.
And I would never want to make you unhappy or cause you any trouble, so...
...I'll go.
I wish you every happiness.
You have lovely friends.
Would you like to feed the birds? Just a dollar a bag.
Certainly.
By chance, have you seen my prince?
He was here.
- Do you really think so? - Oh, yes.
- Oh! - Giselle? What are you doing?
- Robert! This is Clara. - Mm-hmm.
- She saw Edward. - Oh.
He was on the bus this morning.
- He tried to kill me! - Great. Wonderful. Thank you.
- Oh! - What are you thinking?
- You can't just give people money. - You gave me money.
- That's not the point. - And she was very helpful.
So, what's the deal, this prince of yours?
- How long you two been together? - Oh, about a day.
You mean it feels like a day because you're so in love?
- No. It's been a day. - You're kidding me. A day?
- One day? - Yes.
- And tomorrow will be two days. - You're joking.
- No. I'm not. - Yeah, you are.
But I'm not.
You're gonna marry somebody after a day because you fell in love with him?
Yes.
Yes!
Oh! Ooh!
I don't get it. How can you talk about loving some guy
- you don't even know? - Well, I know what's in his heart.
Oh, OK. Great.
This was so yummy.
I didn't know that food could taste like this.
- You all done? OK. - Mmm!
- Let me put that out for you. - What about you?
- How long have you known your Nancy? - Uh, it's five years.
- And you haven't proposed? - Well, no. I...
Well, no wonder she's angry.
Hello, nice lady.
You want juicy, sweet caramel apple, maybe?
Mm.
No charge for the beautiful young woman.
- Oh, really. It's free? - Of course!
Today is free caramel apple day.
Tomorrow is free beef... jerky.
Thank you very much, kind sir.
You're welcome, miss.
You...
Shut up.
Most normal people get to know each other before they get married.
They date.
- Date? - Yeah. You know, date.
You go someplace special. You know, like a restaurant,
or a movie, a museum. Or you just hang out and you talk.
- What do you talk about? - About each other.
About yourself. About your interests.
Your likes, your dislikes. You talk!
You have such strange ideas about love.
Maybe we should do what you would do. You meet, have lunch, and get married.
Oh! You forgot about happily ever after.
Forget "happily ever after." It doesn't exist.
Well, of course it does. Oh!
I hate to disagree, but marriages are a success
if they manage not to end.
- Forget about happiness. - What about you and Nancy?
You know that you will live happily ever after.
I don't know if I'll make it through today, let alone a lifetime.
That's what I'm trying to tell you. It's complicated.
But it doesn't have to be.
- Not if she knows. - Knows what?
- How much you really love her. - Of course she does.
We just don't talk about it every minute of the day, but she knows.
- How? - What do you mean, "how?"
# How does she know
- # You love her? - No. Don't.
- # How does she know - People looking.
- # She's yours? - Don't sing. It's OK.
Let's just walk. Can we walk? OK?
- Well, does she? - Yeah.
# How does she know that you love her?
- Oh. - He knows the song too?
# How do you show her you love her?
# How does she know that you really
- # Really, truly love her? - I've never heard this song.
# How does she know that you love her?
- # How do you show her you love her? - Really nice work.
- # How does she know that you really - That's it. OK.
- # Truly love her? - Let's go.
# It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
# You must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
# How do I know
# He loves me?
# How do I know
# He's mine?
# Well, does he leave a little note to tell you
# You are on his mind?
# Send you yellow flowers when the sky is gray?
# Hey, he'll find a new way to show you
# A little bit every day
# That's how you know
he's your love
- See? - I've seen quite enough. Let's go.
- A ball? - Yeah.
- That would be fun! - That would not be fun.
# You got to show her you need her
# Don't treat her like a mind reader
# Each day do something to lead her
# To believe you love her
# Everybody wants to live happily ever after
# Everybody wants to know their true love is true
# How do you know he loves you?
# How do you know he's yours?
# Well, does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
I don't dance.
# Dedicate a song with words meant just for you? Ooh
- And I really don't sing. - # He'll find his own way to tell you
# With the little things he'll do
# That's how you know
he's your love
# He's your love
Giselle!
# I've been dreaming...
Take these flowers to Nancy, please?
Are you crazy? They're birds. They don't know where she lives.
# That's how you know
# He loves you
# That's how you know
# It's true
# Because he'll wear your favorite color
# Just so he can match your eyes
# Plan a private picnic
# By the fire's glow, oh
# His heart'll be yours forever
# Something every day will show
# That's how you know
# He's your love
# That's how she knows that you love her
# That's how you show her you love her
- # That's how you know - # You've got to show her you need her
# That's how you know
# He's your love #
Thank you.
So much. Thank you.
- Nancy? - Thank you so much for the flowers.
Well, you're welcome. No, I'm glad you liked them.
- She got the flowers. - Catch you at a bad time?
Yeah. You wouldn't believe where I am right now.
Sire! Oh dear, oh dear.
- You've fallen on your royal... - I know.
Ah!
- I love them so much. - Really?
Usually you send those e-mail cards with the digital flowers.
These are exquisite. Where do you find live doves in New York City?
- Oh, it's a long story. - And these? Oh!
- We're going to a ball? - You don't have to.
Are you kidding me? It's so romantic.
- So spontaneous! - Good.
- I can't wait. - Good. Great.
And...
...as far as Giselle's concerned, I'm just trying to help her.
- Nothing's... - You know what?
If you say nothing happened, nothing happened. I trust you.
- So tomorrow night, then. - This is so unlike you.
... middle of Times Square with that bus driver who was ambushed earlier today
It appears this odd little box controls the magic mirror.
They were dressed all freaky. Then this chipmunk...
I've always been in love with you.
Don't you have any self-respect?
I don't need self-respect.
I just need your lips against mine.
Wait, sire! Go back! Go back! Please!
How could I love a man who doesn't even like himself?
Get away from me, Jerry! You disgust me!
I can't help my feelings for you, Angela.
It's love that makes me act this crazy.
This isn't love. This is infatuation.
Shh, shh, shh.
Oh. Shh.
Nathaniel likes the way I leap?
I'm handsome even when I sleep?
Sad little chipmunk.
Aw, deranged from exhaustion.
Aw. Maybe you'd like to snuggle in a nice little nook
for the night, eh?
Night-night.
Sleep tight.
I think I need some air, sire.
I don't like them sad endings.
Sire.
Do you...
...like yourself?
What's not to like?
Where'd he go?
# When the moon hits your eye
# Like a big pizza pie...
Oh, yeah. Here. Watch this.
Watch very carefully. I'm gonna put it in this hand like that.
Oh, do it again! Show me! That's wonderful.
- Show me again! - All right. Last time.
There you go. There it is.
And look.
You're a wizard!
What?
- This is a very nice place. - Yeah.
- And we're eating dinner? - Yeah.
- This is a date. - Yeah.
No! No! No, no. We're just...
We're just friends.
Besides, people don't usually bring their children on dates.
That's too bad.
Morgan's a lovely girl. She's very kind and very sweet.
Yeah. She's great.
- What? - Does she miss her terribly?
- Miss who? - Her mother.
Um...
- Well, we just... - What?
- We don't talk about it. - Oh.
I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to pry.
No, no. It's OK. It's just...
I don't talk about it... to Morgan or to anybody.
- Because it was very sad? - Not at first.
- You were in love. - Yeah.
Yeah.
- That was the problem. - How could that be a problem?
Because love... The lovey-dovey version that you talk about?
It's fantasy.
And one day, you have to wake up and...
...you're in the real world. - What made you wake up?
Well...
...she left.
- I'm so sorry for you both. - It's OK.
I'm a big boy. I can handle it.
It's her I worry about, though.
I know she's shy. I know she doesn't have very many friends.
I just want her to be strong, you know?
To be able to face the world for what it is.
That's why I don't encourage the fairy tales.
I don't want to set her up
to believe in this "dreams come true" nonsense.
But dreams do come true.
And maybe something wonderful will happen.
Yeah, well, I forgot who I was talking to.
Well, I hope you don't forget.
I like talking to you.
For the nice lady.
From a secret admirer.
How come people keep giving you free stuff?
- What is it? - It's an apple martini, miss.
Apple mar... Ooh! It looks yummy.
Be careful. It's poisonous.
- You're joking. - Yeah.
They'll creep up on you. I'd be careful.
- Well, I'll just have one sip. - A sip is all it takes.
Oh.
- Hi-yah! - Oh!
You miserable...
There's a rodent on the table! Can we get some help here?
He's telling me something!
Pip, you're here! Oh!
- It's chewing off her face! - A chipmunk!
That thing's loaded with disease.
Edward is here!
- Edward is here! - I'll save you, miss!
Oh, my! Pip?
- Okey-dokey. - Duck!
Let me see your face.
I'm fine! Pip wouldn't scratch me! No!
- Where's Pip? Where is he? - The pizza's breathing!
Oh! Pip!
Oh, no.
Pip.
What's wrong? Are you OK?
Oh, Daddy.
Tell me magic mirror, what is this awful place?
Why is everything so difficult?
Will I ever find my heart's duet?
Preliminary search of the pizza oven did not reveal any rodent remains.
This animal's still out there.
Joining us is the woman who was attacked
- by this chipmunk. - Giselle!
Tell us, how does it feel
knowing this dangerous animal is most likely still alive?
Wonderful! Pip is my very best friend, and...
Giselle, why don't we go home?
I wasn't finished. One more question, please.
What villainy is this?
Is this unprovoked attack part of some new trend?
- Is rodent rage on the rise? - Magic mirror, I beg you.
- Tell me where she is! - From 116th and Broadway...
116th and Broadway! Thank you, mirror.
... I'm Mary Ilene Caselotti.
My goodness. We sure had a lot of excitement tonight.
- Were you scared earlier? - A little bit.
But do you think Pip will be OK?
Oh, I wouldn't worry about Pip.
He is very brave.
I remember this one time when the poor wolf
was being chased by Little Red Riding Hood
around his grandmother's house and she had an axe. Oh.
And if Pip hadn't been walking by to help,
I don't know what would've happened.
I don't really remember that version.
Well, that's because Red tells it a little differently.
Good night, Giselle.
And thank you for the nice story.
Good night, Morgan.
Ma'am! You cannot let your dog do that here!
You're too late.
My apologies.
Oh, Giselle!
Look, uh, Giselle.
That was a nice story about your chipmunk friend and all.
Yes.
I know what it's like when someone disappoints you.
It's tempting to see things the way you wish
- instead of how they are. - I don't wish that he's coming, Robert.
He is.
Right. Because the chipmunk told you.
Yes. Pip actually said...
Know what? I don't know if you're kidding
or being ironic, because chipmunks don't talk.
Well, not here they don't.
So in lieu of taking advice from a forest rodent,
I just wanted to say that, uh...
...if it did work out and you decided to stay in New York,
- I'd like to help. - That's very kind of you, Robert.
- But Edward is coming for me. - But what if he doesn't?
Why do you keep saying that?
Because I deal with this every day.
If a relationship has issues at the beginning,
- it doesn't get any better. - He is coming!
Giselle, I don't think so. No.
- Yes! - I have to disagree. No.
- No? - No.
Is that the only word that you know? No?
- No! - Oh, yeah? No.
- No. I mean, no. - No! No! Over and over again!
Every word out of your mouth is "no"! It makes me so...
- Sometimes you make me so... - I make you so what?
You make me so...
So...
...angry!
- I'm angry! - Are you all right?
- I'm angry. I'm angry! - Are you OK?
I'm...
I'm wonderful.
Are you sure?
Yes. I'm...
I'm fine.
I'm...
...fit as a fiddle.
OK.
Good night.
Oh, my.
- Good morning. - Morning, Daddy.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Morning. Made breakfast. Great.
I'll get it.
Thank you.
- That's a nice dress. - Thank you.
It is I! Prince Edward of Andalasia,
come to rescue my lovely bride, the fair Giselle!
- He's here. - Apparently.
Oh, my. Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, um, how do I look? - Slightly stunned.
- No. I mean, how do I look? - You look...
...beautiful.
- Giselle! - Edward!
Ah!
Could you...? I'm sorry. But could you just be...?
- Could you just be careful? - You!
- What? - You're the one who's been
- holding my Giselle captive! - Let's stay calm.
No!
- Any last words before I dispatch you? - You have got to be kidding me.
Strange words.
No! No! No.
- These are my friends. - Oh.
This is Morgan. And Robert.
This is Edward.
# I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss
He sings too.
# And a miss I have begun to miss
# Pure and sweet waiting to complete
# My love song
# Yes, somewhere there's a maid I've never met
# Who was made
# To finish #
- What's wrong? - You're not singing.
Oh. I'm not.
Well, I'm sorry.
- I was thinking. - Thinking?
Before we leave, there's one thing I would love to do.
Name it, my love, and it is done.
- I want to go on a date. - A date!
What's a date?
Well...
...we go out to dinner.
And we talk about ourselves.
Our likes and our dislikes. Our interests.
A date.
And remember that you guys can come and visit Andalasia anytime.
Sure. And if you ever come to town,
we should all get together for dinner.
That would be lovely.
We'll see each other soon.
It's not like we're talking about, you know,
- forever. - And ever.
So, uh...
...good luck on your date.
Oh, and you with Nancy.
And you. It was so nice spending time with you.
I'll never forget you. You know that.
Yeah?
Thank you for taking care of my bride, peasants.
I'm going to really miss her.
Me, too, sweetheart.
Me too.
I don't know how they found each other, Your Majesty.
- I really don't. - You idiot!
- But, Your Majesty... - I sent you to kill her, not save her.
- Can't you get that straight? - I realize you're upset, madam.
But if you could find a way to give me one more chance.
Another chance? Do you think poison apples grow on trees?
There's only one left! You are out of chances!
- But, Your Majesty, please! - No, forget it!
I'm coming there! And I will kill the little wretch myself!
Oh, pooh.
I was just thinking about what that girl said about Phoebe's eyes sparkling.
I mean, it's the first thing I noticed when we met.
- It's true. - Mm.
- Her eyes really do sparkle. - Ethan.
OK, look. Look.
As your attorney, Phoebe,
you can't let a chance encounter with someone...
What if it wasn't chance?
What if it was no accident, us meeting her.
- You guys had problems. - Everybody has problems.
Everybody has bad times.
Do we sacrifice all of the good times because of them?
No.
How did you like your hot dog?
Oh! It's not really a dog. They just call it a hot dog here.
- It's quite excellent. - Good.
Well! This has been a splendid date.
- Shall we go? - Go where?
Back to Andalasia, of course. To be married.
To live happily ever after forever and ever.
Oh. Well, we don't have to go right away.
How long do these dates usually last?
Oh, well...
They can go as long as you want, really.
They can just keep going and going,
just so long as you keep thinking about activities that you can do.
- Activities? - We could go to the museum.
Or to the theater?
- Or there's this ball. - A ball?
Yes.
There's dancing and music.
- You like that. - Well, I suppose.
Oh, wonderful. We should go then.
- Giselle? - Yes?
- And then home to Andalasia? - Of course.
The moment it's over.
Giselle! You're back! You're back!
Oh, Morgan. Oh! Morgan, I need your help.
I'm going to the ball, and I'm not sure what to do, or what I should wear.
I don't know where to find a fairy godmother at this late hour.
I have something better than a fairy godmother.
Daddy says it's only for emergencies.
This is definitely an emergency.
Here you go, you get to carry the bag.
- Bye. - Bye.
Next.
- Miss? - Oh. Thank you.
Have a good day.
And when you go out, you don't want to wear too much makeup.
'Cause otherwise the boys get the wrong idea.
And you know how they are.
They're only after one thing.
- What's that? - I don't know.
Nobody will tell me.
Oh.
So is this what it's like?
- What, sweetie? - Going shopping with your mother?
Oh, I don't know. I've never been shopping with my mother.
Me either.
- But I like it. - Me too.
And just think. Soon, you'll have a new mother.
You mean stepmother.
It's not true what they say.
I have met so many kind and wonderful stepmothers.
Edward has a stepmother.
I've never met her, but I hear she's just lovely.
Mr. N is on the line telling us his sweetie pie is acting distant.
You were saying, Mr. N?
I've always treated her like a queen,
but lately I'm starting to feel
there's this whole other side to her, like I don't even know her anymore.
I think you need to take her aside
and find out how she really feels about you.
Hello, worthless. Miss me?
Reperio lemma miha!
A-ha!
- What is she doing here? - I have no idea.
- I'm surprised to see you here. - I'm surprised.
- You said you couldn't dance. - I said I didn't.
I never said I couldn't.
Oh. This is Edward. He's my, um...
...prince. - And this is Nancy.
She's... Well, she's...
- We're together. - Yes.
And this beautiful lady is Giselle, the love of my life.
- My heart's true desire. - Wow.
- Is something wrong? - Just the way you said that.
So straightforward. Not a hint of irony.
It's very... romantic.
Well, thank you.
Well, folks, it's that time of night.
I'd like to ask each gentleman to invite a lady
he did not accompany this evening to dance the King and Queen's Waltz.
- May I have the pleasure? - Please.
Shall we?
# You're in my arms
# And all the world is gone
# The music playing on
# For only two
# So close together
# And when I'm with you
# So close to feeling alive
# A life goes by
# Romantic dreams must die
# So I bid mine goodbye
# And never knew
# So close was waiting
# Waiting here with you
# And now forever I know
# All that I want is
# To hold you
# So close
# So close to reaching
# That famous happy ending
# Almost believing
# This one's not pretend
# Now you're beside me
# And look how far we've come
# So far
# We are
# So close
Mind if I cut in?
No, of course.
# If I should lose you now
# We're so close
# To reaching
# That famous happy ending
# Almost believing
# This one's not pretend
- You're sad. - Oh, no.
- I'm fine. - I'll get your wrap.
# So close
# And still so far #
Child.
You! You sent me here.
I'm so glad to see you. I was so very worried.
What a terrible accident that brought you to this terrible place
with so much sadness and so much pain.
Oh, yes.
To never be with the one you love.
Doomed to be with another
for eternity.
Oh! But it doesn't have to be that way.
Oh, no, no, no. I can stop the hurt. Yes.
I can make all those bad memories disappear.
Yes!
Just one bite, my love,
and all this will go away.
Your life here,
the people that you met.
You won't remember anything.
Just sweet dreams...
...and happy endings.
But you must hurry. You must hurry. The magic will not work
unless you take a bite before the clock strikes 12.
Hurry now. Hurry. Hurry.
Yes! Yes! Yes! That's it. That's it.
Hurry. Hurry. Yes.
Out of my way!
How did she do that?
Speciosus, formosus,
praeclarus!
- Ah! - Edward?
- Mother? - Edward!
Yes. Oh, her.
I was taking her out for fresh air.
She seems to have swooned. Oh, leave her, darling.
I think she's fine. Just leave her. Slap her.
Give her some water. She's fine.
- Someone help me, please! - You're overreacting.
You needn't get so upset, dear. Really.
Oh, no. Call 9-1-1.
Don't pay any attention. Go back to your party.
- She's fine. - Giselle.
Hello, we have a woman here, she's unconscious.
I didn't see what happened.
- She fainted. But she'll be fine... - No, she didn't.
Nathaniel, go back to the car.
I will not.
You poisoned her.
- She's the evil hag, sire! - You did this?
She sent the girl here. She poisoned her! With my help,
- I regret to say. - Oh, he's lying, darling.
Why would I ever align myself with that buffoon? I mean, think about it. Why...?
Silence! You lying, murderous wretch!
When we return home, Andalasia shall know of your treachery.
- Your days as queen will be over! - Take my crown?
Don't you think that's a bit melodramatic, dear?
I don't know what "melodramatic" means,
but you'll be removed from the throne, Narissa. I will see to it.
That's enough from you, you viper.
- We have to help her. What can we do? - I don't know. What do we do?
There's no way of helping her. She's done for.
True love's kiss.
What?
It's the most powerful thing in the world.
Yes. Yes, of course.
I knew that.
It's not working!
You'll never save her now. When the clock strikes 12...
...she'll be dead.
- Unless... - Unless?
It's not possible. It couldn't be me.
- Don't you see? - I've only known her for a few days.
Kiss her, Robert. It's OK.
Please.
Don't leave me.
I knew it was you.
- What did you think? - Wonderful.
Oh, much better than last year's show.
No!
The most powerful thing in the world.
Ha! I don't think so.
You have no idea who you're dealing with.
You want a show? I'll give you a show.
Back up and get ready for the main event!
- You selfish, evil... - Speciosus,
formosus, praeclarus!
All this nauseating talk of "true love's kiss."
It really does bring out the worst in me.
- Stay back. - You know, I've been thinking.
If I'm going to remain queen, I'm going to need
some sort of story when I go back. Hmm.
What if a giant, vicious beast showed up
and killed everyone?
And poor, defenseless Queen Narissa,
she just couldn't save them.
Let's begin with the girl who started it all, shall we?
- Over my dead body. - All right.
- I'm flexible. - Let me go!
Come along, Giselle. I don't want you to miss this ending.
Let me go!
Ah! Put me down! You're crazy!
No, spiteful, vindictive, very large.
But never crazy. Ah!
- Giselle! - Oh, my. This is a twist on our story!
It's the brave little princess coming to the rescue.
I guess that makes you the damsel in distress, huh, handsome?
Keep up with me, dear. It's time to take our tale to new heights!
Pip!
You'd like to finally be released...
...to help Giselle...
...to best the beast.
Why didn't you say so in the first place?
Thank you.
Narissa! I'm not going to let you take him!
We're coming to the end of our story now.
Are you at the edge of your seat, Giselle,
just dying to know how it ends?
Pip!
How about this:
"And they all lived happily ever after!"
Well, at least I did.
What?
Oh. Ah!
Ow! Ah!
Robert! Hold on!
Ah!
Is this a habit of yours? Falling off of stuff?
Only when you're around to catch me.
# Ever ever after
- Why so sad, beautiful lady? - She forgot her shoe.
Figures.
# Storybook endings Fairy tales coming true
May I?
# Deep down inside we wanna believe they still do
It's a perfect fit.
# In our secretest heart
# It's our favorite part of the story
# Let's just admit we all
# Want to make it to
# Ever ever after
Oops! I'm so sorry.
Wow, really good reception here.
Whoa!
# Ever ever after
# Start a new fashion Wear your heart on your sleeve
# Ever after
# Sometimes you reach what's realest by making believe
# By making believe
# Unafraid, unashamed
# There is joy to reclaim in this world
# You even might wind up
# Being glad to be you
# Ever ever after
- Here you go, sweetheart. - Thank you, Pip!
All right, everybody, don't crowd. There's plenty of copies for everyone.
# No wonder your heart feels it's flying
# Your head feels it's spinning
# Each happy ending's a brand-new beginning
# Let yourself be enchanted
# You just might break through
# Forever ever after
And so they all lived
happily ever after.
# I've been dreaming
# Of a true love's kiss #